by Vince, October 2000

ou may have been hearing some rather odd things about the Republican party lately: George Dubya meeting with homosexuals in the governor's mansion; an avowed homosexual not only attending but actually speaking at the Republican National Convention; a vice-presidential candidate who raised a lesbian. It's enough to make you wonder what the "G" in "GOP" really stands for.

"It's enough to make you wonder what the "G" in "GOP" really stands for."

Before you go rushing off to a Log Cabin meeting, take a few things under consideration. When George Dubya met with twelve gay Republicans (as much an oxymoron as queer Catholics), he refused to meet with Log Cabin Leaders, such as executive director Rich Tafel (who took George Dubya to task on his anti-gay record). Instead George Dubya met with twelve better-behaved homosexuals. Now I'm not saying "the Austin 12," as they've come to be known, are a group of sycophantic inverts dazzled by the opportunity to meet with a future presidential candidate, I'll let you draw your own conclusions. I will say that they pulled punches, and let George Dubya off scot-free in regard to gay and lesbian issues. Not only that, he received great press and at the same time alienated those gay Republicans that would take him to task.

Yeah, I didn't think he was that clever either. Chalk it up to dumb luck, something George Dubya seems to have in spades.

Mary Cheney has lesbian hair

And then there's Mary Cheney, lesbian daughter of vice-presidential candidate Dick Cheney.¹ She's the Coors Company's former liaison to the gay and lesbian community. While her role in the Republicans' bid for the White House is yet to be announced, I seriously doubt it will be anything similar to her role at Coors. After all, that would be admitting that gays and lesbians are a recognized constituency.

While the extent to which Cheney's out lesbianism will affect the campaign is uncertain, one thing is clear. Mary Cheney will be kept firmly ensconced in the glass closet, visible but silent. I think we're all familiar with the drill, acknowledging the existence of gays and lesbians while ignoring their issues. Cheney joins an illustrious crowd in the glass closet ranging from Jodie Foster to Ricky Martin to Steve Young.

I do feel an amount of empathy for Cheney. I know what it's like to be accepted for who I am in private, only to have part of my identity wiped away for the sake of keeping heterosexual appearance or an unwillingness to deal with gay and lesbians issues. It's a poignant pain that does not heal quickly.

And finally there's Jim Kolbe (R-Ariz.), the first openly gay person to speak at a Republican National Convention. He gave an impassioned speech about the plight of gay and lesbian Americans in a country that does not allow them to openly serve in the military, denies them the right to marry and maintains sodomy laws that make criminals out of consenting couples. Truly a watershed moment for the Republican Party.

Just kidding.

Kolbe's speech was restricted to international trade. His ideas, of course, were not the story, he was--a sure sign that gays and lesbians are not welcome in the GOP. And although Kolbe's speech did not touch on anything even approaching his sexual orientation, Texas delegates were so threatened by the presence of an openly gay man that they removed their cowboy hats and hung their heads in prayer during Kolbe's speech. Now while I'd like to imagine they were praying for better trade negotiations with China, the sign that read "There is a way out," a common "ex-gay" chant, belied their true intentions.²

Lord Jeezus. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no homosexual. Pleeze, Lord Jeezus, deliver us from this man and his trade initiatives.

A new brand for the GOP

The fact is, the Republican Party has not changed. When it comes to gays and lesbians, the GOP has merely changed its branding position. Gays and lesbians are to be tolerated until the Republicans regain the White House, making no mention of queer issues let alone campaign promises to actually act upon those issues. The Republican platform still maintains that being gay or lesbian is incompatible with military service; there should be "no special legal protection" based on "sexual preference"³ and a marriage is valid only between a man and a woman. So much for the Republican Party being, in George Dubya's words, "the party of idealism and inclusion."

And while the Republican Party has done a good job at tucking away the usual assortment of right wing nut cases like Pat Buchanan and Trent Lot, one occasionally finds his way to the surface to remind us how juvenile and hateful the Right can be. I am referring to the House Majority Leader Dick Armey's recent fag joke regarding gay congressman Barney Frank.⁴ I actually feel more sympathy for Armey's spokeswoman Michelle Davis than I do for Frank. Can you imagine having to spin such a small-minded and malicious statement by claiming that Armey expected someone to make the joke, and he just wanted to "get it over with"? Can you imagine Armey speaking at an NAACP convention? "Fried chicken, watermelon, Cadillac carŠ" Or how about a NOW convention? "There once was a woman from Venus, whose body was shaped like aŠ" How is it that gays and lesbians are the only minority group that can be so openly targeted for such gross ridicule by public officials?

Enough is enough, I'm not willing to sit back and wait for the Republican Party to realize that discrimination is no longer an effective consensus builder like alternate delegate Jesse Walters. He believes that Kolbe's trade speech was "one of these baby stepsŠwith the Republican Party, just to get an openly gay speaker" at the Republican National Convention is seen as progress. Walters hopes that "maybe in a few years they'll be able to say the 'G' word." Well guess what, I for one am not willing to put my civil rights on hold until the GOP grows up. Vote wisely.

1 When Cokie Roberts asked Lynne Cheney (Mary's mother and Dick's wife) about her daughter's open lesbianism, Cheney became infuriated, claiming that Mary "has never declared such a thing."

2 The "ex-gay" movement claims that being gay or lesbian is a choice. And they're right. You can choose to accept who you are or you can spend your life denying who you are just so you can claim that you're "straight." I mean, really, is being straight so tough you need an organization to keep you from falling off the wagon. Think about your straight friends (or yourself, if you're that way), do you think they (or you) really need support for remaining straight? I know the gay scene is pretty tempting with the whole gay-male impeccable taste and lesbian pragmatism, but come on. Who are these people fooling?

3 By "special legal protections" they mean legal protection against discrimination. Such protections could prevent a person from losing his or her job, home, or child custody for merely being gay or lesbian.
"Sexual preference" is the term the Right uses when they're actually talking about sexual orientation. As if anyone would prefer to be discriminated against.

4 "Yes, I am Dick Armey. And if there is a dick army, Barney Frank would want to join up," Armey said according to Cox News Service.